Potty training requires patience, perseverance and a dose of good humor! In general, it is between 2 and 4 years old that a child learns to be clean. This step often gives rise to questions from parents and comments from those around them. It is also important to respect the rhythm of the child when he begins to learn to be clean.
Before being really clean...
To potty train, a child must first learn to control their bladder and bowel movements. Moreover, it is only around the age of about 2 years that the child can recognize the sensation that his organs are “full”. Then he learns to detect when he is about to pee or poop. Finally, he must go to his potty before it's too late...
It is not possible to “teach” a child to be potty trained. The role of the parents is rather to support and supervise him throughout the toilet training. To use the potty successfully, the toddler must be ready physiologically and, above all, psychologically. This learning depends a lot on the child. It is therefore important to trust him.
The potty training method I use is the least stressful method to potty train a toddler. It's not a right or wrong method, just a different one. This post will show you how to make this method work for you.
The 6 key stages of potty training
1. Don't force it
Until your child is ready, there is no point in forcing him to potty train. Either way, it might slow his learning.
Children become “clean” first during the day. Then, generally, the night cleanliness comes a few months later. However, the age of potty training varies greatly from child to child. For this reason, avoid establishing the age at which you consider your child should be potty-trained. Instead, wait for him to show signs that he's ready, then follow his pace. It is he who decides. Potty training is a process that usually takes 3-6 months on average.
On the other hand, potty training at night can take longer. Before the age of 5, there is no need to worry if your child cannot wake up to go to the bathroom.
How do you know if your child is potty trained?
Here are some signs:
- He himself goes to his potty and sits on it by himself.
- He partially undresses without your help.
- It stays dry for several hours (clean coat).
- He tells you when his diaper is dirty (eg he says "pee" or "poo").
- He understands simple instructions, such as: “Go take this to Mommy. »
- He begins to express his needs clearly and says, for example: “Want some water. »
- He is curious about it, for example: he wants to see you go to the bathroom, he places his doggie on the potty, he likes stories about cleanliness, etc.
2. Choose the right time for your child
There's no perfect time to potty train, but it's a good idea to start during a quiet time at home. For some, summer may seem like a good time to take this step, because during this season clothes are easy to take off quickly when the toddler expresses the need to go to the bathroom.
Despite this advantage, the right time remains when the child shows signs that he is ready since he should not be forced to become potty trained. Above all, do not start this learning at a stressful time for your child, for example at the same time as a move or the arrival of a little brother or sister.
Also, be sure to get the cooperation of other caregivers. If your child goes to daycare, it is important that the educators respect his pace. To learn more about this, see our fact sheet Potty training at daycare .
3. Familiarize him with the potty
Put his pot near the toilet and explain to him what it is for. Then, invite him to sit on it, even dressed, or to sit his doggie on it. At first it will be a game!
Let him watch you go to the bathroom. Then, encourage him to follow you when he has to pee or poop. Praise him every time he tries. If he is really ready, he will feel the desire to imitate you.
And the “large toilet”?
Since the potty is more stable than the large toilet, your child feels more secure there. When sitting on his potty, your toddler can put his feet flat on the ground and support them. The day will come when you can use the adaptable seat. Your toddler will probably ask you to go to the “big toilet” himself. You can then place a small bench under his feet so that he can lean on it and there is no risk of him falling. He must feel safe at all times. In addition, the support for the feet is very important to properly use the muscles of the anal region which allow the elimination of stools.
4. Establish a routine
Gradually get your child to sit on the potty at regular times: when waking up, after meals and snacks, and before naps, bath time and bedtime.
Does your child get up as soon as you sit him down? Suggest that they stay a little longer, but no longer than 5 minutes. Avoid giving him a toy or book while he is sitting on the potty. The child needs to focus for a few minutes on the sensation of a bladder needing to empty or a bowel movement needing to be passed, and a toy may distract him. If nothing happens, let him get up and go back to playing. Do not show disappointment and do not make remarks to him. On the other hand, if he poops in the potty, praise and compliment him.
5. Switch to fabric panties
Your child is starting to use the potty often? Stop putting diapers on him during the day. He will then be more motivated to stay dry if he wears cloth pants or training pants. Put her in clothes that are easy to take off and remind her often to go to the potty. At his age, it's normal for him to forget to do this, especially if he's focused on playing.
Of course, he will soil some panties. It's part of learning, so don't quibble with it. If he tells you after you do, praise him anyway for warning you.
If he has a series of accidents soon after he starts wearing pants, he should be able to go back to wearing diapers without feeling shame and without being punished . Do not put too much emphasis on small accidents and rather increase his self-esteem by encouraging him again and reminding him of his successes. Instead, insist that it's no big deal and that you'll help her recognize the signal next time. If your child has already managed to use the potty well, it can only get better every day.
6. Remove the diaper during bedtime
Does it stay clean all day? And her diaper stayed dry for several naps? It's time to delete it. When this time comes, apply the same method for the night. Until then, even if you put him in a diaper to sleep, encourage him to call you if he feels like going potty during naps or at night.
Outings during potty training
Until you're sure about him and you know you're going out for a while, put him in a diaper or training pants. But if you're only going out for a short time and you can easily access a toilet, dare!
Tell him to go potty just before leaving and don't forget to take a change of clothes. If you're traveling by car, bring the potty with you, along with a box of wet wipes. Plan frequent stops if you are traveling a longer distance. Don't make him drink too much just before the start.
If your child refuses to have a bowel movement on the potty
If your toddler doesn't want to poop on the potty, let him poop in a diaper. Otherwise, he may hold back and become constipated. Constipation can cause pain when having a bowel movement. If your child is in pain, it will take even longer to potty train. When he's ready, he'll go potty on his own. Besides, he will be very proud to show you his first poo.
Here are some tips for successful potty training outings:
- Timing: Plan your outings when your child is least likely to need a potty break.
- Preparation: Bring along a potty seat or portable potty, extra clothes, and wipes.
- Communication: Talk to your child about the plan for potty breaks before leaving home.
- Prompts: Encourage your child to use the bathroom before leaving home and regularly throughout the day.
- Consistency: Stick to your normal potty routine as much as possible, even when out and about.
- Patience: Be patient and understanding if accidents happen. It's all part of the learning process.
- Rewards: Reinforce good behavior with praise and rewards, such as a small treat or special activity.
- Hydration: Make sure your child stays hydrated, as this can increase the need for potty breaks.
Remember to be flexible and go with the flow, as potty training can be a gradual process. With consistency and patience, your child will be potty trained in no time
Hygiene tips
A child cannot wipe himself properly before the age of 4. Until then, your little one needs your help. Remember that girls should wipe from front to back to prevent stool from coming into contact with the vulva. If this happened, an infection could occur. Teach your child good hygiene techniques and remind them to always wash their hands after using the toilet.
Consult a doctor if, despite all your encouragement or congratulations, your child is over 4 years old and :
refuses to go potty;
seems unable to hold back;
shows no interest in toilet training.
The doctor can then try to find the reasons for this refusal or this difficulty, whether of a psychological or physiological nature.
He was potty trained, but no longer seems to be
It is common for a child to seem to regress in his learning after having had successful episodes on the potty. If this is the case with your toddler, avoid nagging him and don't get discouraged. Repeat the process from the beginning, helping your toddler pay attention to the feeling of needing to empty his bladder or passing a bowel movement and making it easier to get to the potty. Most importantly, don't forget to praise your child when they make progress.
To remember
To learn to be toilet trained, a toddler must be physiologically and psychologically ready. This usually happens between 2 and 4 years old.
Do not force a child to potty train, but rather follow his rhythm and trust him.
If the child pees or poops in his panties, do not quibble or punish him. If necessary, he should also be able to go back to wearing a diaper without feeling ashamed.
